No, I’m not talking about teenagers here. Though what I have to say applies to any ungrateful person encountered.
As a hospice nurse, I am in a position of using my knowledge and intuition to serve persons that will likely die in a short time and their family members. I have a lot of compassion for these people and I put my heart and mind into the work. We work long days, sometimes at inconvenient hours.
Most of the people that we hospice workers serve appreciate our work and caring and let us know with words of appreciation and encouragement, coffee and cookies. Sometimes they are so impressed with the work we do, they come join us. Nurses, volunteers, social workers.
Every now and then, I encounter a family member that just can’t be pleased. Like the caregiver for the patient who needed her Morphine pump adjusted the day of the blizzard. I started shoveling my driveway at 5am. At 9am, I called and told them I would be out to see the patient as soon as I got un-snowbound. At 10am, I finished up, with the help of my neighbor and his snowblower. The roads were treacherous, still I showered and got there before noon.
This family member complained to my boss that I was not compassionate, and that I let her loved one suffer unnecessarily.
When conflict with another human arises about what I should be doing, I like to ask myself, “Is this my problem?” Or is it their problem?
Have I applied myself the to task at hand with the best of my abilities?
Does the other person have unreasonable or uneducated expectations about what I can do? Have I communicated to the other person my expectations for my role in the matter?
If I have done all these things it is likely that it is not my problem, but their problem. And if it is not my problem, I don’t have to carry it around with me.
Whew. I feel lighter already.